Sunday, April 19, 2020

Quarantine Files, Week 5 - Better Late than Never

I've been meaning to start writing the blog again for the past few months.  I am thankful for the record of our families early days that I created and in these unprecedented times, it seems important to continue… that said, here we are, wrapping up week 5 and I am only now getting around to it.

For the sake of posterity, a brief recap… our family traveling to Cocoa Beach Florida mid February for a week of sun and fun, Jay Peak Vermont in early March for a hockey tournament, and days later schools were cancelled for a day, then three weeks, then 4 more and though it's not been stated yet, we assume there won't be any school until September.  At the same time, all but essential businesses are not open to the public, anyone who can work from home must do so, recreation areas are closed and we must wear masks when we go out in public.  It is unbelievable.

This is unlike anything we have seen (or, God willing are likely to see again) in our lifetime.  We don't really know when it will end, or how the world will be different on the other side of it.  I am incredibly grateful that our family is safe and economically stable, and we're not forced into difficult decisions, just to keep a roof over our head or food on the table.

I have been working from home full time for nearly 2 years, which allows pretty much no change for me in these crazy times – Except that the kids are home with me all day and need to act as home-teacher, IT support, parental supervision, playmate, BFF, referee and so many other things.  So much has been published about staying busy during this "stay home" order, but suffice to say, that is not the case for me. 

Matt had only one week where he was able to stay at home, but has been heading into his work site most of the time.  Things have changed there also, and his contact with other during the day is limited.  I vary widely in how I feel about this – I know it's good for him to be out of the house, he struggles working from home, but some days I am also angry that he's expected to go out in the world.  It's also true that as a country our economy is a mess as a result of this pandemic, and if some, limited, business can go on – shouldn't it?  It's so difficult to know what's right, with facts changing daily as the science catches up with the disease, and the media adding their myriad of slants to the whole thing. 

The kids have been handling the whole situation with resiliency and acceptance that I could not be more proud of.  Since week 1, they have designed and worked to their own schedule and goals.  We helped of course, but they really took ownership.  I realized immediately that without some sort of rhythm to our days, we'd all be a hot mess in short order.    The kids are largely autonomous during the days – doing their school work, planning and executing art projects, and getting outside.  They also  have a decent dose of non-educational screen time – video games and TV mostly, but it's not taking over as I feared might happen. Yesterday for instance, they spent 4 hours building a Rube Goldberg machine in the living room, while "teen Nick" ran in the background. 

That's not to say that they're not feeling the stress – I think they are at times.  For instance, Norah, who has always had very big emotions, showed no signs of stress until around week three.  On Sunday night she broke down crying about all the things she misses – school, lunch with her friends, picking out her outfits, softball, friends… she's in 6th grade, so friends are beginning to take a more important role.  I let her cry for a little bit, and we talked about the stages of grief, and how proud I was of how she was handling everything.  After that, we instituted a "Grievances and Opportunities" ritual at meal time – Similar to something we do in the lead up to Thanksgiving.  We go around the table and each state something that we're grieving, and also some opportunity that quarantine has given to us.  The kids were at first reluctant, but now begin without me even bringing it up, so I think it must be helpful. 

There is so  much more to say, but for this first time in a long time post, they key message is that we have much to be thankful for, and we're doing just fine.  

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