Roddie Report: Nurse No More...

Roddie and I are done nursing. There, I said it. I know this is the right decision for us, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel a little sad, or a little bit like I failed him. But I also feel rested, sane and better able to deal with everything else I have to do in the run of a day! I've also seen my husband and son bond in a new way that makes my heart sing!

With both kids, I set a target of 6 months, and with Norah I made it to 7. With her, 6 months came and went and we were doing just fine, but I came to a point when I just knew what was best for our family was for me to wean her. Well, with Roddie this point came much sooner - I still toyed with trying to keep it up until February, when he was six months old, but ultimately we finished up just as 2010 wrapped up. A few things are different this time around, not least of which is that I have Norah as well as Roddie to tend to. I also have actual work to do at my job from day 1 of my return. The real nail in the coffin though, didn't have so much to do with either of these things, but rather Roddie's needs and my ability to meet them

Right around the 4 month mark he was nursing every two hours, 24x7 and refusing to take a bottle. I was exhausted, could not eat or drink enough and was really feeling the stress as we prepared for the holidays and my return to work. Ultimately I think he did go through some growth, both physically and cognitively around that time, as I've seen a change in how he plays and reacts to the world around him - he's very curious and is reaching out to touch and feel everything in sight! In my desperation we had to use formula to convince him to take the bottle, and during the process realized that this is where we were headed. Once he finally agreed to take the bottle, after 10 days or so of resisting Matt's attempts, we began to drop nursing sessions.

I know in my heart that this is what's best for my family overall, and I've given him 4 whole months of Mama's Milk. Formula is not evil, many of us were raised on it with no ill effects. But still, I feel guilty when I tell people we've stopped especially other moms, and especially those who were able to stick with it longer. It's not anything they say or do, it's totally in my own head, I know, so maybe I'm not quite as resolved as I think... Regardless, we're on this train and he's doing well, so what have I got to worry about?