Thursday, July 30, 2009
Sandal Saga, Day 2
Today, I won the battle of wills on the sandals - Norah is wearing a cute pair of pink Stride Rites as I write this (or at least she was when I dropped her off this morning!) It involved a little wrestling, but once she forgot she had them on, we were all set. It's a good thing too, since I was thinking of asking my sisters, the fashion police, to stage an intervention with her.
I talked with my mom about it yesterday, and that led to one of my two keys to success. While Mom had some good ideas, the main thing I realized from talking to her is that I'M the one in charge, not Norah. I so enjoyed flexing my parental muscle with the time outs last week, that I thought, "I'm just going to tell her this is what she's going to wear today", which is exactly what I did. There was drama, but I got them on her.
The other key was Norah's old friend, BUCKLES. As I've blogged before, she loves buckles, and closing them, but she hasn't figured out how to open them yet - and we're not showing her! This was key to my success this morning, as a lot of her shoes have Velcro closures, which she seems to enjoy opening and removing her shoes, even when they're not sandals. The ones she has on today have small metal buckles, which she doesn't know how to open yet.
So in short, I muscled them on to her and made sure she couldn't get them off. She resisted, and then got over it, all in a matter of about 15 minutes. There's a lesson in there somewhere, I'm just not sure what it is, maybe that we're in charge and not her?
I talked with my mom about it yesterday, and that led to one of my two keys to success. While Mom had some good ideas, the main thing I realized from talking to her is that I'M the one in charge, not Norah. I so enjoyed flexing my parental muscle with the time outs last week, that I thought, "I'm just going to tell her this is what she's going to wear today", which is exactly what I did. There was drama, but I got them on her.
The other key was Norah's old friend, BUCKLES. As I've blogged before, she loves buckles, and closing them, but she hasn't figured out how to open them yet - and we're not showing her! This was key to my success this morning, as a lot of her shoes have Velcro closures, which she seems to enjoy opening and removing her shoes, even when they're not sandals. The ones she has on today have small metal buckles, which she doesn't know how to open yet.
So in short, I muscled them on to her and made sure she couldn't get them off. She resisted, and then got over it, all in a matter of about 15 minutes. There's a lesson in there somewhere, I'm just not sure what it is, maybe that we're in charge and not her?
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Norah News: Fashion Emergency
As you may know. Norah really, really hates to wear sandals. I'm not sure when it started, or where it came from - all I can tell you is that she HATES them. I tried fooling her with putting socks on with her sandals (I know... don't get me started) but she's too smart for that. Thanks to some super hand-me-downs and a splurge or two by me, we have a variety of sandals of all sorts, sizes and descriptions, but I've yet to find a pair she will wear. She has all kinds of cute little summer dresses and other outfits, which would look just sweet with any of these specimens of summer footwear, but alas, she insists on either sneakers or her black Mary Janes.
So this morning, decked out in her sundress, I thought I'd give it another try. On go the socks. No problem. Next come the sandals (which franky, look a lot like shoes) Got em! She actually put them on! So I stood her up to see how she looked - CUTE! It lasted about 30 seconds, before she took one off and started crying. She wanted the shoe back on. Weird. So I put it back on, and 30 seconds later, same thing happened. After a few rounds of this, she was walking around, enjoying the uneven sounds of one socked foot on the hardwood floor. Though even that didn't last long. The crying began again.
So after a few attempts to remedy the shoe situation and console her, I said "Norah, if you're not going to stop crying, you're going to have to go and sit in your corner." She stopped for a few minutes, and then I guess decided she needed a cry, as she walked over to her corner, dropped on her bum, and had a good wail. I gave her a few minutes before I asked if she was done, which she was, we kissed and made up, put on the Mary Janes and started our day.
I do like this time out thing... especially when she puts herself there!
So this morning, decked out in her sundress, I thought I'd give it another try. On go the socks. No problem. Next come the sandals (which franky, look a lot like shoes) Got em! She actually put them on! So I stood her up to see how she looked - CUTE! It lasted about 30 seconds, before she took one off and started crying. She wanted the shoe back on. Weird. So I put it back on, and 30 seconds later, same thing happened. After a few rounds of this, she was walking around, enjoying the uneven sounds of one socked foot on the hardwood floor. Though even that didn't last long. The crying began again.
So after a few attempts to remedy the shoe situation and console her, I said "Norah, if you're not going to stop crying, you're going to have to go and sit in your corner." She stopped for a few minutes, and then I guess decided she needed a cry, as she walked over to her corner, dropped on her bum, and had a good wail. I gave her a few minutes before I asked if she was done, which she was, we kissed and made up, put on the Mary Janes and started our day.
I do like this time out thing... especially when she puts herself there!
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Norah News: Highlights and Play of the Week
It’s been tough finding time to blog lately, but not for lack of material! In lieu of a big ‘ol blog post, I thought I’d share a few tidbits
- Time outs are going really well. Really well in that the mere threat of sitting in the corner is enough to head off most attempts by Norah at getting her way by screaming. It feels good to me, to flex our parental muscle, and I think it’s starting to pay off. We’ll see what happens next week, when we’re on vacation. I’m thinking of taking a play from my Dad’s parenting playbook, and using the WAC Method (“Walk Around the Campground”) The play, strictly speaking, involves a humiliating walk while clasping the hand of an unwilling sibling, but it’s known to result in giggles, so I’m thinking in lieu of a corner, it just might do.
- She did the most awesome thing last night in the tub. I think her bath gel is part of what’s causing the skin issues on my hands, so I’ve started using regular soap with her. Last night she was very interested in the bar of soap, and after the usual adorable attempts to grab onto the thing, she got it and started cleaning her belly, and then her arm. Next thing I know, she is soaping up her hands and then washing her face! Just like Mom does! In the midst of me telling her what a good job she was doing, she leaned over and also washed MY face! Too Cute!
- She’s taken to saying “Amen” with me at the end of her bedtime prayers, at least some of the time
- Drop offs have been a dream lately… yesterday when I dropped her off, now fewer than three kids were having drop off drama meltdowns… she took off looking for some more cereal and barely even said good bye!
Alright, much to do – heading out on vacation this week!
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Norah News: Beach Baby!
Norah ought to have ocean in her blood... I grew up on the East Coast of Canada, swimming in the North Atlantic every summer. Matt also loves the ocean, though his experiences were somewhat different from mine, on the Jersey shore. In any case, Norah seemed excited to be heading to the beach, exclaiming "BBEEEEAAAACCCCHHH!" at every available opportunity. The water was anything BUT warm, if you ask me (maybe I'm getting soft in my old age) but all three of us dipped in more than a few times over the weekend. I know you're not that interested in seeing Matt and I frolic in the waves, so here's a couple of Norah
Norah News: Long Walk!
As I mentioned in the past few posts, we went to the beach for the weekend. It was AWESOME! It's only an hour or so away, but it was nice to not have a place to put Norah (and Matt!) down for a nap, get cleaned up for dinner and so on. On the Saturday night, we had a great dinner on a deck on the second floor, overlooking the 'scene' that is Hampton Beach as well as the ocean.
After dinner, we took a stroll, heading south along the strip in search of a perfect ice cream We found it near the end of the strip, and while Matt was ordering, I crossed to the other/ocean side to look over the beach and let Norah out of her stroller. Despite the fact that it was pretty much her bed time, she decided that she'd like to walk, instead of ride in her stroller - over a half a mile back to the hotel! She also decided that she'd like to be the one to push her stroller... see below
Friday, July 17, 2009
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Norah News: Recovery Photo
Our Truck is BIG
In case you hadn't heard, we bought a BIG red truck. After lunch today I happened to park between two other SUV's - a Ford Expedition and a Toyota Highlander. Big Red (not our Truck's real name) dwarfs the Highlander and looks slightly down on the Ford... what were we thinking?? First road trip is this weekend, I'll let you know... I am reminded of the red and white Suburban we had for a while when I was a kid... on road trips we were pretty much allowed to take anything!
Adventures in Parenting: Time Out!
Norah and I had quite the morning today… she had her first time out.
She has been testing the limits these past couple of weeks or so, and in talking about it with Matt after the fact, we recognize that we haven’t exactly been consistent with setting and communicating the limits. We know that we’re supposed to do this, but two things were at play – first, we weren’t exactly sure that she really got it, that she was old enough to understand. And second, as two full time working parents, sometimes you just don’t have it in you, peppered with a not so subtle amount of guilt for being busy/distracted/dragging her all over the place trying to buy a car.
The time has come on the first item; she clearly knows when she’s being bad. After a disastrous dinner out last night, this morning she INSISTED on sitting on the floor to eat her breakfast. I was kind of rolling with it, not realizing what she was up to at first (hey, I had not had my morning coffee yet!) Once I did figure it out, I put a stop to it. I put her bowl on the table, and sat at the table myself, demonstrating how we eat our meals at our house.
The next 30 minutes were a battle. At one point I went into the bathroom, and she managed to get the bowl of oatmeal off the table and follow me in there, howling the whole way. This was my ah-ha moment. I took the bowl, shooed her back to the kitchen, and when the howling continued, I sat her on a throw rug in the corner. She tried to get up, of course, but I told her in no uncertain terms that (I love her but…) she was to stay there until she was done crying. Amazingly she did. When she was done (about 3 minutes later, though it felt like 40!) she peeked around the corner at me, and I told her to come over – she ran over with a big smile for a hug. We had a bit of a mother-daughter chat at that point, and while that wasn’t the end of it, the second visit to the mat was much less dramatic. Go figure, The Super Nanny, Jo, knows what she’s talking about – I just didn’t realize Norah was there yet. Score one for Mom!
The second point is a lot tougher. Recognizing such things in yourself is hard, but I think it’s a part of life. While we do need to cut her a break when we upset the schedule for whatever reason, there needs to be limits. What they are and how we handle them is going to be an interesting journey for all of us, I’m sure.
On a related note, when I dropped her off this morning, I asked if she was prone to these temper tantrums. Her teacher was surprised and said not only was she not prone to them, it actually took quite a bit to get her upset, like someone grabbing a toy out of her hands (can’t say I blame her, that would tick me off too!) This tells me not only that I’m right about her knowing that she’s being bad, but also that she knows to behave when she’s at daycare – can we take credit for that or it is just luck?
She has been testing the limits these past couple of weeks or so, and in talking about it with Matt after the fact, we recognize that we haven’t exactly been consistent with setting and communicating the limits. We know that we’re supposed to do this, but two things were at play – first, we weren’t exactly sure that she really got it, that she was old enough to understand. And second, as two full time working parents, sometimes you just don’t have it in you, peppered with a not so subtle amount of guilt for being busy/distracted/dragging her all over the place trying to buy a car.
The time has come on the first item; she clearly knows when she’s being bad. After a disastrous dinner out last night, this morning she INSISTED on sitting on the floor to eat her breakfast. I was kind of rolling with it, not realizing what she was up to at first (hey, I had not had my morning coffee yet!) Once I did figure it out, I put a stop to it. I put her bowl on the table, and sat at the table myself, demonstrating how we eat our meals at our house.
The next 30 minutes were a battle. At one point I went into the bathroom, and she managed to get the bowl of oatmeal off the table and follow me in there, howling the whole way. This was my ah-ha moment. I took the bowl, shooed her back to the kitchen, and when the howling continued, I sat her on a throw rug in the corner. She tried to get up, of course, but I told her in no uncertain terms that (I love her but…) she was to stay there until she was done crying. Amazingly she did. When she was done (about 3 minutes later, though it felt like 40!) she peeked around the corner at me, and I told her to come over – she ran over with a big smile for a hug. We had a bit of a mother-daughter chat at that point, and while that wasn’t the end of it, the second visit to the mat was much less dramatic. Go figure, The Super Nanny, Jo, knows what she’s talking about – I just didn’t realize Norah was there yet. Score one for Mom!
The second point is a lot tougher. Recognizing such things in yourself is hard, but I think it’s a part of life. While we do need to cut her a break when we upset the schedule for whatever reason, there needs to be limits. What they are and how we handle them is going to be an interesting journey for all of us, I’m sure.
On a related note, when I dropped her off this morning, I asked if she was prone to these temper tantrums. Her teacher was surprised and said not only was she not prone to them, it actually took quite a bit to get her upset, like someone grabbing a toy out of her hands (can’t say I blame her, that would tick me off too!) This tells me not only that I’m right about her knowing that she’s being bad, but also that she knows to behave when she’s at daycare – can we take credit for that or it is just luck?
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
New Wheels...
Well, we did it! We bought a new truck! Here she is, ‘aint she pretty? There was a lot of drama around this purchase, but it looks like we are on our way!
I was telling Norah this morning about our “New Red Truck” not really knowing if she had any idea what I was talking about. Well, apparently she did, because when we stepped outside and saw is, she said “WOW!”
Monday, July 13, 2009
It's Not Just Me!!!
I’ve had a few revelations these past few days that are worth writing about, but this one takes the cake… I’ll get to the others later, but first I gotta blog about today! Not only was drop off with Norah this morning a breeze, but another mom was dealing with a meltdown that even Norah would be hard pressed to match. I truly felt for the her, cause God knows, I’ve been there, but I gotta tell you, I skipped out of there, with undisputable evidence, that IT’S NOT JUST ME!
I did feel a bit bad at her misfortune, and trust me I know it could be my turn again tomorrow! I also have read and been told that this is normal (or at least typical!) at this age, but this was the first time I’ve seen another kid so close in age to Norah in full-blown-tantrum-action! It was every bit as embarrassing and upsetting as when Norah does it, at least to my empathetic self. My apathetic self skipped out the door, humming to myself “It’s not just me, It’s not just me!”
I did feel a bit bad at her misfortune, and trust me I know it could be my turn again tomorrow! I also have read and been told that this is normal (or at least typical!) at this age, but this was the first time I’ve seen another kid so close in age to Norah in full-blown-tantrum-action! It was every bit as embarrassing and upsetting as when Norah does it, at least to my empathetic self. My apathetic self skipped out the door, humming to myself “It’s not just me, It’s not just me!”
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Norah News: BUUUUCCCCKLE-MANIA!
Further to my thoughts about Norah being "Engineer-Like" here's a little sample of what we like to call.... BUCKLE-MANIA! She LOVES to fiddle with buckles, and they've got us through some rough times, those buckles. Buckles on seats of all sorts and descriptions, buckles on toys, buckles on bags... it doesn't matter, she loves them all! Sometimes I literally need to tear her away, kicking and screaming from her buckle projects. In fact, on Friday she chose to sit in her stroller for about 25 minutes, playing with the buckles instead of with the hose I was using to water the plants!
We've taken this as a learning opportunity as well... she has mastered saying "OPEN" a while ago - thankfully she hasn't learned how to open buckles yet - but we've started trying to get her to say "please". Sometimes she gets it, but when she's really into Bucklemania, she kind of runs them together: "OPEEAAAASSSSEEEE!!"
We've taken this as a learning opportunity as well... she has mastered saying "OPEN" a while ago - thankfully she hasn't learned how to open buckles yet - but we've started trying to get her to say "please". Sometimes she gets it, but when she's really into Bucklemania, she kind of runs them together: "OPEEAAAASSSSEEEE!!"
Norah and her Shoes!
Norah has this thing about wearing shoes without socks - she hates it. I have no idea why, but she has pretty much been refusing to wear sandals (this backs up my theory that she is going to be an Engineer - socks and sandals are big in some circles, you know) In any case, we were getting ready to head out to a 4th of July party, and Matt actually got Norah to put on a pair of sandals, with bare feet! They were a size or two too big, but hey... anyway, that didn't last long, and here she is in the kitchen, trying to decide if she's going to put her shoes on, or eat some crumbs...
Norah and her Cousins!
Well, second cousins for the most part... but still, here's the gang from the Annual 4th of July party at Matt's Aunt Fran's. Norah is the youngest by about a year and a half, but she seemed to have fun playing with the rest of the kids!
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Was that Supermom?
Or is She? I thought I was having a Supermom day yesterday… started work early, before Norah got up, had her at daycare in time to dial into my 8:00 am meeting, ploughed thru a pile of stuff all morning, cleaned the bathroom at lunch (worked from home, obviously), and left at 4:15 to walk over and get Norah. When we got home, we had a nice time watering the plants and playing in the yard… and then it all started to go downhill... I think my first mistake was thinking we could stop over and play with Jack for 15 minutes, and still be able to go home and have a sane dinner time. Naturally, by the time we got home, Norah was really hungry and VERY difficult to deal with. She was throwing tantrums left, right and center, and absolutely refused to sit in either her highchair or on her booster seat. I could tell she was hungry, as she was following me around the kitchen, licking her lips (when she wasn’t crying, that is) In the end, I let her eat her dinner while sitting on my lap… I felt like I had given in to some extent, but between a long day and a head cold, it’s all I had in me. Bath time and bed time was equally exhausting, and Norah even refused to hold my hand when we said her prayers – thankfully she relented and she even wanted an extra prayer.
We’re really fortunate to have great neighbors, who like us well enough, but adore Norah. The problem is that we have a pretty hectic schedule between when we get home in the evening, and when we get to bed. Actually, I am sure everyone does, so really the problem is that all our schedules are not aligned! The only time we have to play outside is immediately upon getting home – but we don’t have a lot of time, since Norah also needs dinner, bath, and snuggles before 7:00. The neighbors get home earlier and are just emerging for some evening social time just when we’re ready to pack it in, having already had dinner. It’s tough, but I think I need to be a bit more disciplined about heading in for dinner on time, for my sanity. Supermom learns something new again!
In another parenting mis-step, I went in to see what the fuss was about when Norah was making a racket about 45 minutes after I put her down. I hardly ever do this, but she seemed as though she was upset, and not just stirring in her sleep. I intended to just rub her back, but she jumped up when she saw me come in, so I picked her up. She immediately nuzzled into my shoulder with a sigh of relief, so I sat in the rocker with her for a few minutes. She rewarded me with something like the sweetest kiss, though since she's getting bigger and stronger, it came off more like a headbutt... but whatevever! The important part was that after a 5 minute snuggle, she was down for the count. Whew!
We’re really fortunate to have great neighbors, who like us well enough, but adore Norah. The problem is that we have a pretty hectic schedule between when we get home in the evening, and when we get to bed. Actually, I am sure everyone does, so really the problem is that all our schedules are not aligned! The only time we have to play outside is immediately upon getting home – but we don’t have a lot of time, since Norah also needs dinner, bath, and snuggles before 7:00. The neighbors get home earlier and are just emerging for some evening social time just when we’re ready to pack it in, having already had dinner. It’s tough, but I think I need to be a bit more disciplined about heading in for dinner on time, for my sanity. Supermom learns something new again!
In another parenting mis-step, I went in to see what the fuss was about when Norah was making a racket about 45 minutes after I put her down. I hardly ever do this, but she seemed as though she was upset, and not just stirring in her sleep. I intended to just rub her back, but she jumped up when she saw me come in, so I picked her up. She immediately nuzzled into my shoulder with a sigh of relief, so I sat in the rocker with her for a few minutes. She rewarded me with something like the sweetest kiss, though since she's getting bigger and stronger, it came off more like a headbutt... but whatevever! The important part was that after a 5 minute snuggle, she was down for the count. Whew!
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Nature vs. Nurture: A Year Later
It's been nearly a year since I posted my reflections about Nature vs Nurture, but something happened recently that got me thinking about it again. Norah's not a particularly girly-girl, at least not at this point. She doesn't seem to care one way or the other about dresses, she's not afraid of bugs or worms (in fact, she seems to enjoy picking them up and squishing them), she loves getting dirty and playing in puddles (ahem, no idea where she gets that...) , she can't stand any kinds of do-dads in her hair, and she has an affinity for any kind of toy with wheels or buckles.
However, she does like to cuddle and nurture her toy dolls and stuffed animals, she adores an old necklace of mind, and is fond of modeling odd socks as if they were a fancy shawl.
We have a neighbour, Jack, who is just a couple of months older than Norah. He's a real cutie, and they seem to play well together. If Norah is on the aggressive end of the scale for girls, then Jack is on the gentle end of the scale for boys - in short, he is a real mild mannered sweety. Norah and Jack both adore the two dogs across the street - Lannie and Tessa.
So I don't know if it's the weather or what, but Lannie and Tess have been 'playing ' a little rough with each other from time to time these days - wrestling, if you will, with each other. There is a tumble here, a growl there - nothing serious, but a bit different from what we're used to. Norah gets visibly upset when this happens, cries, grabs on for dear life etc. I generally just have her look away until things settle down (usually a manner of seconds) and then she is fine. Apparently Jack's reaction is the polar opposite - clapping of hands!
Now I have no idea what this means, if anything. Their reactions fall along very stereotypical gender lines, but is not generally reflective of their behavior. Do girls really have more nurturing tendencies? Have we taught her this with our interactions and expectations of her? Does it have anything at all to do with gender? Who knows!
However, she does like to cuddle and nurture her toy dolls and stuffed animals, she adores an old necklace of mind, and is fond of modeling odd socks as if they were a fancy shawl.
We have a neighbour, Jack, who is just a couple of months older than Norah. He's a real cutie, and they seem to play well together. If Norah is on the aggressive end of the scale for girls, then Jack is on the gentle end of the scale for boys - in short, he is a real mild mannered sweety. Norah and Jack both adore the two dogs across the street - Lannie and Tessa.
So I don't know if it's the weather or what, but Lannie and Tess have been 'playing ' a little rough with each other from time to time these days - wrestling, if you will, with each other. There is a tumble here, a growl there - nothing serious, but a bit different from what we're used to. Norah gets visibly upset when this happens, cries, grabs on for dear life etc. I generally just have her look away until things settle down (usually a manner of seconds) and then she is fine. Apparently Jack's reaction is the polar opposite - clapping of hands!
Now I have no idea what this means, if anything. Their reactions fall along very stereotypical gender lines, but is not generally reflective of their behavior. Do girls really have more nurturing tendencies? Have we taught her this with our interactions and expectations of her? Does it have anything at all to do with gender? Who knows!
Norah News: Booster!
On the advice of our neighbor, Jack's Mom, we thought it might be time to get Norah a booster seat. As might be expected, she saw it as another opportunity for Buckle-Mania, but after a couple of mother-daughter chats about it, she seems to think it's a fine place to eat her oatmeal! Now I need to figure out some way to protect the upholstered chairs from that same oatmeal! Nice work Norah!
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