Some Big Questions

As I was walking the kids to school one recent unseasonably warm Friday (clearly not yesterday), we were talking about plans for the upcoming February vacation week.  Norah, who was a little tired as we all are most Fridays, was bemoaning the fact that some kids have parents who stay at home, and that they could spend their vacation at home.  She also assumed that because I sometimes work at home and have more days off than Matt, that he must make a lot more money, so I should just stay home.  She had this image that other people got to stay home and do “family stuff” like paint pottery and go to the movies all week long.  I wasn’t particularly prepared for such a discussion, but it was important to me that she and Roddie understood a few important things.

1. First off, different families make different choices, for all sorts of different reasons.  It’s really none of our business why they make the choices they do, that’s up to them.  (And no, your friend’s mom who stays home with her little sister doesn’t get paid… and yes, I had to pay for you to go to daycare)
2. I love what I do, and I am good at it.  I am really smart, just like you.  Besides the economic benefits of my job, it also means she gets to see things like cool robots, giant freezers, and who knows what else in the future.  (How many of your friends can say that??)  Likewise, she’s been to construction sites and knows more than the average 7 year old about construction. 
3. Mommy makes a lot more money than Daddy does – see #2, above.  Don’t be fooled by vacation time and work from home days.   I worked hard for those privileges.  (This one was shocking to Norah – glad I caught it early!)
4. While we could use more down time at home (thank you snow day!) we’d all be pretty bored if we were at home with no plan all the time… this is why the pottery place is so busy on vacation week.  The kids are going to an indoor sports center, snow tubing and to a science museum, just to name a few of the things they’re doing over school vacation week.   Also, our version of family time doesn’t look the same as everyone else’s – we play games, see local sports, walk in the woods, skate in the yard, snuggle on the couch, take family road trips, go to the beach, read together… sure we don’t go to amusement parks or to the movies very often, but that’s our family’s choice.  See #1.
5. Above all, Mommy and Daddy love you more than anything, and we try to make the best possible choices for you, all the time

It’s really hard sometimes, with all the things available to them, and all the things that interest them (especially Norah) to keep our evenings and weekend schedule from getting out of control.  Add my travel schedule to the mix and it’s even worse.  That being said. We try hard to make sure there is down time, that they have a chance to unwind and be bored… great things come out of bored kids who have to figure it out – you should see the cardboard box creation growing in the basement!  We try hard to ensure they get enough rest – my parents taught me this is the best secret to academic success. 

We’re doing the best we can, just like everyone else.  All I hope is that they remember the great things about our life and not the things they perceive they’re missing.  I also hope they realize that every family makes their own choices, and that they all don’t have to be the same to be great.