Drop off Drama...

A couple of weeks ago, we had some drama that I just couldn’t bring myself to blog about. I was so upset and bothered by what had happened that I couldn’t get my thoughts straight to blog about it until I figured it out. Of course it involved Norah!

Before you get concerned that something really bad was going on with us, let me tell you what it was… drop off drama! The way things work out with logistics at our house, it’s my job to drop Norah off at daycare in the mornings. When she started in the infant room last August, I spent some extra time each day, getting her settled, talking to her teachers or other mom’s and just generally making myself feel ok about the whole thing. The problem began as she started to get older, and would resist my leaving, plus, by that point, I was into a nice routing, chatting with the teachers about their weekends, etc. so it was a hard habit to break! However, there was a light at the end of the tunnel – around this time, we started the transition into the toddler room!

While we were excited about this transition, and very happy for Norah, it was a lot of change... I know I felt like I didn’t know the teachers, or the routine, one had just returned from maternity leave, one was just about to go, there were new kids and new toys, outside play and other new activities. Norah started getting a lot dirtier from playing outside, and art projects started appearing in the mailbox for us to take home! Oh, right, this is not all about me, it’s about Norah – I can only imagine if I felt that much out of my routine, she must have also, not to mention probably feeling my anxiety with the whole situation!

On the awful day, it took nearly 30 minutes to drop her off, and we were both in tears! It was somewhat of a perfect storm, we arrived when there was an infant in the room temporarily, so one teacher needed to tend almost exclusively to him. Then another kid arrived, and one needed a diaper change, pretty much occupying the other teacher. I tried to get Norah engaged in some kind of play, which worked, until I stood up to leave, when she would flip out. I simply could not leave her alone, when she was crying frantically, even if I knew she would be alright momentarily, and there was not an open set of arms to leave her in – what could I do? Eventually someone freed up, I handed her over, but by this time we were both quite upset. I waited in the hall for a couple of minutes to make sure she was OK – and she was, it literally took only a couple of minutes for her to settle in, then I ran to the truck, bawled, and called Matt. I will be honest, this ruined my entire day.

So, I did what I usually do, I looked to my good friend the internet to help me solve my problems. I posted a plea for help to a local mother’s group, and got an overwhelming supportive response. I realized that I was not alone in this experience, and it’s typical of the age, especially during times of transition. I also got some good advice – advice which, if I am honest, I knew all along. I started being much more regimented in my drop off routine, so that Norah knows what to expect. This routine is also much shorter than my previous routine. The most important thing I did was as for help. I spoke to one of the teachers and said exactly that – I need help at drop off. So now, I take her in, we start to play, and when I get up to leave, if she gets upset, I pick her up, give her a kiss, tell her I love her, then hand her over to one of the teachers. At first she’d cry until I left the room, or reached the door, or turned away or let go… and this morning, there were no tears at all – from her or me! We sat down with the other kids and legos, and she didn’t seem to interested, and when I stood to leave, she grabbed my leg. I said, “Norah, look who is here today, Danielle! Do you want to go see Danielle?” She let go of my leg, and went over to Danielle, who picked her up. Norah immediately gave me a big smile and a wave good bye! Ahhh success!

Who knows what will happen in the weeks to come, but what I do know is that whatever it is, if I am patient and not afraid to ask for help, we’ll figure it out!