Sometimes our life seems really hard – we’re on the move from before 6 am until after 10 pm just with the business of living. This does not include much “me” time or “us” time, let alone time for things like cleaning or exercise. Kids, work, laundry, cooking… add in a business trip or evening meeting here or there, and you get the picture. The thing is, compared to a lot of people, our lives are pretty darn serene. We only have 2 kids, for starters!
This weekend we happened upon a yard sale on our way out for what turned out to be a nice day as a family. The sale was at a large house in on a nice street not far from where we live. A kayak and bike-for-two caught our eye, but what we came away with was a box of kid stuff and a little perspective. The sale seemed to be run by a man and his late-teen to 20’sh daughters. Clearly they hadn’t cleared out in a while, as there were dolls and books these girls had outgrown before Y2K! There were also hundreds of Beanie Babies I had assumed the girls “had to have” when they were younger, that he was now trying to give away as a gift with purchase.
It turns out that it was his wife, who had passed away 10 years prior, not his daughters who had the Beanie Babies. She also had dozens of Barbies, still in their boxes. Apparently she suffered from Fibromyalgia, and the treatment for this debilitating disease included medication that played games with her mind. As he continued to describe what she had gone through, I was a little uncomfortable, but it was clearly therapeutic for him, so I continued to listen. Apparently in this large house on the nice street, a very ill mother of these two girls has begun buying things, and hoarding them in the attic – bags and bags of these things, under floorboards, in boxes and so on. The man told me that for years, they knew there was “stuff” up there, but had no idea the extent of it.
After we left, I couldn’t stop thinking about this family – the two girls had to be 7 to 10 when their mom died, and as young as Norah when she first got sick. I don’t know if there are any other siblings, I find it almost impossible to imagine what it must have been like to have your wife first physically, then effectively mentally ill, and then pass away, leaving the rest of the family with a gaping hole that could never really be filled. I’m overwhelmed with gratitude for the life and family that I have.
As I write this, I am reminded of some sad news I heard recently. An dear friend from my college years was in a car accident two years ago, and hasn’t been (and is not likely to be) the same since. I’m Facebook friends with his wife, and did notice he was missing from a lot of her pictures, but having lost the closeness we all had back then, I was reluctant to ask more. A mutual friend reached out recently and filled me in. He’s going to be ok, though will never gain a full recovery – he hasn’t been able to work or handle any amount of stress for instance. So, in addition to being overwhelmed with gratitude for all that I have, and I’m also reminded for how it can all change in an instant.
So, as we pass through our first Thanksgiving of the year, I do indeed have some great things to be thankful for. I’m thankful for Norah and Roddie and Matt. I’m thankful for my health and theirs. I’m thankful for the simple things we do as a family, like going out for breakfast or evening walks. I’m thankful for Matt’s calming perspective to my irrational side and whatever balance I provide to him in return. I’m thankful for our little house on our little road in our little hood rich with good neighbors and space to roam. I’m thankful for the job that I hold and the jobs that I’ve held that allows us to have the things we have. I’m thankful for the ladies who watch over our kids with such caring that I can do my job without worrying. In short, I’m thankful for the life I have.
Heck, I’m even thankful we get to have two Thanksgivings
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